Christmas Eve musings….

 

As I sit in front of our Christmas tree, it's hard for me to believe that tomorrow's Christmas. I've come to like slipping down here in the early morning hours and sitting in the dark room just looking at the tree….

 

There's been something sweet about that quiet time, just looking at the tree and meditating on Gods goodness and faithfulness this past year, amidst the trial and pain.

 

I feel as though the anticipation of Christmas has given our family a sweet awareness of what's to come….

We've been through so much this year, and it seems like the trial will never end…..

 

And yet, through it all, God has been at work in my heart and in my family.

 

He's built a bond between greg and I and our younger four, a bond that runs deep and strong, a bond built out of a need for each other and a protective desire to hold each other up through this hard time.

 

 

He's also shown himself to me in ways I never imagined. Through all of the turmoil this past year, in the deepest place of my heart, he has given me peace.

 

He has brought a comfort that only he can bring, and he's spoken his love to me in quiets, subtle ways….it's as if he knew I wouldn't hear him in the chaos of my life, so he spoke deep into my heart, where I wouldn't miss what he's saying.

 

 

He's confirmed his love for me and my family, time and time again, and when I've wrestled with why my younger ones have had to know such turmoil, he's shown me that he has my kids in the palm of his hands and that their futures are secure with him.

 

 

God has given me something very special this Christmas season….he has used the events of this past year and all that I've learned along the way, to give me a heightened awareness of the true meaning of Christmas.

 

He's given me a desire to really adore him this Christmas, just like the song says. The words to the songs aren't just words to me anymore, but they are filled with the Truth of our amazing Savior and all that he's done.

 

While this Christmas is bittersweet for our home, I can honestly say that I wouldn't trade this sweetness I feel for Jesus for anything in the world.

 

Merry Christmas to you and yours….