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Five Minute Friday: Not afraid anymore

February 1, 2013

 

 

Years back, I used to fear the future.

 

It began with my dad's Alzheimer's diagnosis, when he was only 53 years old. That's when the realization hit me that, as much as I want to, I can't keep bad things from happening to those I love.

 

As we walked the long, nine-year journey through dad's illness, watching him slip farther away from us each day, I found myself fearing what tomorrow would hold.

 

I wanted desperately to avoid heartache and loss, and I couldn't bear the thought of losing anyone I love…..I was so afraid.

 

Little did I know that five years into my dad's disease, I would be moving him into a nursing home, promising through tears that I'd come back very soon. I struggled with leaving him there, and I shook my fist at God and wrestled with the conflicting emotions that I felt.

 

LThe hardest part of this new reality was that I could do nothing about it.

 

Four years later, in October of 2011, I attended my dads funeral. At 62 years old, he was walking into the arms of Jesus, whole and complete forever.

 

In the year that followed, my life continued to be hit with one trial after another, but something was different.

 

I wasn't afraid anymore. God had done a work in my heart, using the very real sorrows of my life, to teach me that I can trust Him to be sovereign over me and those I love, and I don't have to try and fix any of it.

 

*** I'm linking up with Lisa-Jo today for Five Minute Friday.

 

 

 

 

 

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