Called to be faithful, nothing more
Walking through this season of heartache and trial, I have definitely found myself in survival mode.
Going through the motions and doing what needs to be done, and nothing more. and I do mean nothing more.
Many nights I find myself laying in bed questioning myself…..why didn't I accomplish more today? Why can't I bring myself to do more? Did I love my kids well today? I forgot to do ____ again, what's wrong with me?
Then comes the guilt. I'm a mommy, I should be able to walk through this fire and still accomplish everything that needs to be done. Another day went by and I forgot to call this loved one or that friend. I'm such a failure. Will I ever get my act together?
I can easily get caught up in those feelings of failure and wonder why I'm not a good mom, why I'm failing at keeping up with my home, and why, just WHY can't my life be just a wee bit easier?
As I've wrestled with these feelings time and time again, God, in his kindness, has begun to teach me something……
He's teaching me that He calls me to be faithful, and nothing more.
He calls me to simply obey his Word and to share his love with my kids. He doesn't call me to have a perfectly clean house and laundry that's done and and put away on the same day, nor does he call me to remember every detail every moment of my day.
He calls me to be faithful.
At the end of the day, when I crawl into bed, I don't have to have the guilt. I don't have to relive every mistake and every failure and I don't have to feel ashamed for struggling and for feeling the very real grief that fills my heart.
I can climb into bed knowing that I loved my God and my family well—not perfectly, but faithfully.