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testimony of a faithful God…..

April 9, 2012

a while back, i was asked to share my testimony at church.

so much has happened in my life in the past year, that i felt like God wanted me to share what he had chosen to walk me through.

i had no idea that God would use my testimony to touch the lives of others, but to my surprise, he did. after the service that day, people i’d never even met approached me and thanked me for sharing about my walk through depression and how God met me. they went on to share about their own struggles and how God used my  story to speak healing to their hearts. praise God.

i’ve decided to share my testimony on here today as well. i figured today would be a good day to do so, as i link up with ann as we continue to count God’s many blessings in our lives…..

please, if my testimony blesses you in any way, would you share in the comments? i love to hear how God uses the story of one of his children to touch the heart of another…..

Patty Romack….Testimony

I can’t really pinpoint a specific date when I came to know Christ; it’s been more like a series of events that has brought me to where I am today.

My first introduction to Christ that I can remember is back in 5th grade when I began attending church through our church’s bus ministry. I went through high school having a love for Christ, but not really owning my faith. I basically obeyed my parents out of a fear of disappointing them, rather than out of a healthy fear and reverence for God.

College brought new experiences and new freedoms…most of which I didn’t handle well. I was living life my way. Through those years, the one thing that never changed was my dad’s persistent dialogue with me, reminding me that living life my way would never satisfy, and that Jesus is the only answer. I didn’t always heed my dad’s input, but It was always in the back of my mind…I now see that as Gods grace in my life.

Fast forward a couple of years, and I was a single mom living in Chicago, still trying to live life my way. It wasnt long though until God began to get ahold of me. He brought a wonderful godly friend into my life who invited me to church with her. I was sitting in service with her one Sunday morning when God clearly spoke to my heart and showed me that HE was the answer and that he longed to fill the void in my heart.

Over the course of the next few years, I met and married my wonderful husband, had 4 more babies, and grew in my love and knowledge of my Savior….but God wasn’t done with me yet.

Little did I know that I was about to walk with my dad through a devastating 9 year journey through Alzheimer’s . When my dad had to go into a nursing home in 2007 at the young age of 58, I spent hours crying and asking God “why” I had to lose my dad. I was angry with God and I couldn’t fathom why this had to happen. It was through that first year of Dad being in the nursing home that God really showed himself to me. through reading Trusting God by Jerry Bridges, God taught me what it really looked like to trust him. God used that book to bring me freedom in so many areas of my life–areas that I had been holding onto for fear that something would happen if I didn’t. I now know that God is sovereign over every area of my life and he can handle what comes along.

This past year I turned 40 and thought to myself that this is going to be my best year yet. boy was in for a surprise. About half-way through the year, I began to struggle with depression. There were days when I wanted to crawl in a hole and just hide from everyone. I didn’t want to talk and smiling took a lot of effort. There were mornings that I wouldn’t have gotten out of bed had my sweet husband not cared enough to come along side me and get up at the same time just to make it easier for me. I would read the Word and feel nothing. I basically felt as though I was watching the world go by around me, and I was just a bystander. There were months of feeling numb and wanting desperately to feel something– anything, but I couldn’t.

Little did I know it, but grief was soon to become depressions twin. My dad went home to be with Jesus on Oct.28,2011. After 9 years of this journey, you’d thing one would be prepared, but I wasn’t. For the past 2 years of my dads life, he couldn’t communicate with us and showed no recognition. All I had left of him was pleasure of holding his hand–that was my life-line to him. But when he died, I lost that life-line and didn’t quite now how to deal with that.

As I look back over my months of depression and grief, there is one amazing thing that stands out to me. Never once through the days of darkness did I ever feel alone. Not once when I was numb and wanting to be alone did God leave my side. The week before my dad died, our family had gone to say our good byes, and that Sunday we sang Never Once by Matt Redman for the first time. The words to that song just penetrated my heart and reassured me that God would be there for me when my dad passed away the following week.

I can’t say that I would’ve chosen the events of this past year. But I can say that I wouldn’t change the sweetness that I now have with my Savior as a result of going through the fire with him.

Thank you.

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