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longing to be still…..

March 16, 2012

in a season of tears and sorrow,

a season of disappointment and grief,

the one thing i desperately long for—the one thing I desperately want—is to be still and know that he is God.

i long to wake up in the morning and be free of the chaos in my mind, and the ache in my heart….

and i would give anything to lay my head on my pillow at night and just have my mind be silent…..

i would love to feel “normal”again and not have to work so hard to find joy…

to be honest, i long for that day when someone will ask me how i am, and i won’t have to swallow hard to keep from crying before i answer.

this is where i am right now—the lot that God has chosen for me…..

this is my new “norm” and it’s all I know these days.

i believe with all my heart that God is good…i have tasted of his goodness…

and i know that his ways are better than mine, though there’s pain along the way…

and i believe that even though i am in this season where i am struggling to be still in my heart and in my mind, i do know that He is God, and that one day i will look back on this season and see the beauty that He made from the ashes of my life.

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