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looking back….

January 30, 2012

do you ever find yourself wanting to turn back time? You remember a time when things seemed easier, lighter, and you’d love to be back in that place—if even for a moment.

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I catch myself wanting to do that every so often. I think back to when my dad was alive and healthy—a time when he’d laugh with me and assure me that everything was going to be okay.

Or maybe a time when the kids were younger and didn’t quite have to deal with the harsh realities of this world.

Or even back when my husband and I were dating— we had no worries back then, only the anticipation of spending our lives together, worry free.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that turning back time wouldn’t change anything. I was younger back then, and didn’t have the faith that I now have— faith grown from the experiences of this harsh world—a faith that gets me up every morning.

Had I not walked through the seasons of fire and had I not experienced the waves crashing in in every side, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

I wouldn’t be desperate for more of Him, because I wouldn’t know what I was missing.

You see, through the years—especially this past year—I have tasted of the mercies of the Lord, and I know he is good. And I know that I need him, every minute of every day—more than the air I breathe.

I know what it is to walk through the fire and feel the flames rising on every side, and I know what it is to see his hand reaching out, pulling me through.

I know what it is to be in the storm, with the waves crashing all around me, and I know the Anchor that has kept me from going under.

So yeah, I miss the good ol days…..I miss the ease of waiting for my honey to call for our late night chat, and I miss the long talks with my dad over anything and everything.

And I’d love a few hours to just sit and not think about the life that seems so crazy around me…..

But what I am learning is “better is one day in His courts that thousands elsewhere”….I am realizing that I can’t go a day without him….I can’t go even one day without my Jesus.

**Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Carolyn Johnson permalink
    January 31, 2012 11:34 am

    Yes, but then I remember there were even worse times than I am having today, and am glad to be somewhre in the middle.

    • January 31, 2012 12:51 pm

      Isn’t that the truth, grami? God is so faithful to be with us no matter where we are…..

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