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Survival: a new season

January 18, 2012

I have so much to say and yet, my thoughts are so jumbled that I don’t know where to begin.

There just doesn’t seem to be a right way to start.

I can honestly say that for the past 8 months or so, I have been in SURVIVAL mode.

It seems that I have gone from one season of survival to another.  Ever been there?

I mean, seriously, I feel as though the dust  just begins to clear a bit and then Im right back in the storm….a new  storm.

Some of you know that my dad passed away just under 3 months ago, and that his death was extremely hard for me.

I have just begun to come to a place where  I can see more light than darkness in my days, and then this past Sunday life as we knew it turned upside down.

Imagine my surprise when my 18 year old daughter ,who is only half way through her senior year of high school informed us that she was moving out—right now.

Her reason: she was tired of being under authority.  She feels that once you’re 18 there’s no more need for authority.

Wow….if only that we’re true, but we who are believers know better.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  And I couldn’t believe the searing pain that was going through my  heart.  I stood there, just staring at her and asking her questions to get her to think about what she’s doing.

But she was determined and there was no getting through to her.

My husband tried to reason with her as well.  But again, there was no use.

There was no yelling or arguing….only tears and a family feeling ripped apart.

I haven’t heard from her since Sunday, but i do know where she is.  She is in a safe home with a family we love, yet her heart is still resolved to not coming back.

She will be with this family through the weekend, but there’s no plan for after that point.

My husband and I will meet with 2 of our pastors tomorrow to discuss things.

My week has been spent shedding lots of tears and picking up the broken pieces of my other kid’s hearts.

I have faith that God IS  Sovereign over this whole mess

and I know that he will work all things together for his good.

What that’s going to look like, I don’t know.

But right now, we are just standing on the Solid Rock Who can not be shaken.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Carolyn Johnson permalink
    January 18, 2012 5:01 pm

    Patty, my heart goes out to you….and you and the family are in my prayers. I can only liken this to when our son told us they didn’t need us any more….my heart broken and my confusion kept me from knowing what to say. Still now words from our son and his family now and it’s been over a year… I pray that does not happen to you… she is so young and doesn’t know the way yet. She thinks she is grown and wise and mature, but we know better, we are more wise and more mature…at least get her to a place where she will communicate with you even if she doesn’t want to be with you.

  2. January 19, 2012 8:45 am

    Oh, Patty. I am praying for you. I cannot relate to your circumstance exactly but am so familiar with going from “one season of survival to another” and having “the dust settle only to see a new storm.”

    Been so reminded lately of the fallen, brokenness of this world, the pain and the heartache that was never supposed to be. And then reminded that the God of the universe sent His only precious Son INTO that world to redeem us. And somedays the only thing that keeps me going is the promise that He will oneday wipe away every tear from every eye. Including mine. Including yours.

  3. January 19, 2012 3:21 pm

    Patty, my heart is breaking for you. As I read your post, the Lord brought Psalm 13 to mind:

    “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
    How long must I take counsel in my soul
    and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
    How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
    Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
    light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
    lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
    lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
    But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
    I will sing to the Lord,
    because he has dealt bountifully with me.”

    I pray that even as you walk through this difficult valley, that God will remind you of his steadfast love for you and for your daughter. He has not hidden his face from you; instead, he has given his Son for your salvation. He truly has dealt bountifully with you, and I pray that even now, in this, he will help you to see his bountiful goodness toward you and your family.

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