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The Composer

January 14, 2012

Being a parent has got to be one of the most challenging, heart wrenching, and exhausting responsibilities there is.

i love being a mom, and i wouldn’t trade any of my kids for anything in the world….that’s not to say i wouldn’t loan them out occasionally, BUT you know what i mean, right?

anyway, as i’ve been walking through the throes of yet another difficult season in parenting, i have found myself discouraged and feeling quite helpless.  i mean, i have 5 kids…surely this has to get easier, right?  shouldn’t i have it all down by now?

as i was getting ready this morning, all alone in my bathroom, i began praying for one of my kids.

and as i prayed, i was in the middle of saying, “Lord, if only i can get her to see ____, and if only i could get her to understand ____”, and it was as if the Lord put his fingers over my mouth and stopped me mid-sentence.

he very clearly impressed on my heart the reality that i am merely an instrument in God’s hands, and He is the Composer.

he showed me that only He can change the hearts of my kids and only he can open their eyes to his Truth.

sure, i have the responsibility to train them and love them and share the gospel with them, but i can’t make them accept any of what i say.  that’s really hard for me.  i so often try to be the Holy Spirit in their lives, trying to change what only God can change.

and i felt that God was also showing me this morning that i need to speak the Truth in love  to my kids, even if it offends them or makes me “uncool” in their eyes.

as parents, we so want to make our kids happy. but i am learning that it’s not our job to make our kids happy.  it’s our job to give them Jesus.

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