Multitudes on Mondays…
eople often ask me how i’m doing in my struggle with depression and the recent loss of my dad, so i thought i’d take this opportutnity to give you an update…in case you’re wondering too.
it’s hard to believe that it’s been just over 2 months since my dad passed away.
those first weeks were the hardest weeks of my life. so much saddness and there were days when i thought the grief would swallow me whole.
i didn’t think i would ever know joy again.
and i was beginning to think that the numbness would never go away.
but God, in his kindness, had a plan for that time.
even though i couldn’t get into the Word, God found other ways to get his Word into me.
he used emails from friends, filled with life-giving truths to fill the emptiness in my soul.
and worship music has been like a balm for my weary soul. it’s as if God just reaches right down and wraps his arms around me everytime i listen to worship music.
worship time at church has become priceless to me—it’s there where i feel the presence of the Lord so strongly; it’s where i experience his love for me the most right now.
and more than anything else, it’s been through this dark time that God has confirmed for me over and over again his deep, deep love for me. never once through this time have i ever felt alone.
through the darkest of days, when i thought the tears would never end, i knew the deep love of my Savior.
through the days of numbess, when i couldn’t even stand to be touched, God touched my heart and reminded me of his care over me. he never left me alone, even when i thought being alone was the only thing i wanted.
i wouldn’t have chosen walk this path. not on your life.
but there is one thing that i know for sure:
i wouldn’t trade for anything the sweet fellowship i now have with my Savior as a result of this dark time.
on a side note, I know many of you have heard of Ann Voskamp and her book One Thousand Gifts. well, this year, Ann has invited people to sign up for her 2012 Joy Dare. simply counting 3 gifts or blessings each day can bring you to over 1,000 gifts by the end of 2012. Ann makes it so easy to do this by offering a number of options, so feel free to head on over to her site to see what it’s all about.
i am going to participate in the 2012 Joy Dare and will be posting about it here on Mondays….we have so very much to be thankful for.
1) a wonderful weekend get-a-way with my handsome hubby
2) a precious older daughter who can babysit when we go away overnight!
3) the gift of good health
4) Matt Redman’s 10,000 Reasons
5) sweet kitties
6) food to eat
7) a warm house
8) the gift of old friends who have known me since i was a tween and love me just the same
9) pastors who are just as much our friends as they are our shepherd
10) a faithful husband who sacrifices daily to show his love for me
11) blue, sunny skies on cold winter days
12) a successful first-day-back-after-Christmas-break-home schooling day!
13) the privilege of home schooling my kids
14) a job that gives my husband the means to provide for our family
15) the blogoshphere
16) the many wonderful women i have met through the blogosphere, and the way they have touched my life— unknowingly
17) a curly haired little girl who still loves to cuddle with mommy
18) big blue eyes on a sweet 9-year-old face
19) 50 degree days in January
20) a church not afraid to preach the gospel
21) the legacy of my dad…faithfulness
22) a sweet mom who i call “friend”
23) home school curriculum that fills in the gaps for this mama/teacher
24) the Word of God
25) GRACE, sweet grace