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finishing well….

December 20, 2011

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ave you ever found yourself correcting your child for a certain behavior, ONLY to catch yourself doing or saying that very behavior?????

yeah, i caught myself doing that very thing just the other day.  and i must say, it was quite humbling.  ahem…a bit uncomfortable, but humbling, nonetheless.  🙂

i have noticed a pattern of unkindness in my kids lately.  harsh tones, unkind words, impatience— you get the idea, right?  anyway, i was feeling as though i was constantly saying, “that’s not nice”, “you need to be kind to each other”, “stop talking like that”, etc, and i was getting nowhere.

and then it happened.

my kids had been calling my name and each one asking for things for what seemed like ALL DAY.  and when this one particular child came in the room and called my name in that same “question” tone, i responded impatiently and with an unkind tone.  thankfully, God allowed me to immediately realize what i’d done and i apologized to my son.

but as i thought more about it, i realized that i had responded to my son in the same way he had been responding to his siblings.  and what’s worse, i found myself asking this question:

“could it possibly be that i am partly responsible for the way my kids are talking to each other?  could it be that they are learning to be more impatient from their mommy’s example?”

i was appalled by the reality of that.  and a bit humbled.  okay—a lot humbled.

i realize that kids are sinners too and that they don’t need to be taught how to sin, BUT how can i expect them to grow in this area if i’m not setting a good example?

as i’ve been praying about this, God keeps bringing to mind  Romans 15:1-2 ~

1 We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2 Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.

as a mommy, i have an obligation to bear with my kids—even when they may be driving me crazy.  they need to know that mommy is approachable and that they can come to mommy with anything and that i wll respond in love.

and when i mess up and respond unkindly, they shouldn’t be surprised when mommy humbles herself and apologizes.

i want my kids to see Jesus in me.  i want them to see that i am a sinner and i need Jesus just as much as they do.

and i want them to feel like they can mess up and i will accept them and love them just the same. the last thing i want is for them to see me as a hypocrite—teaching them not to do certain things and then me doing those very things.

as i’m watching my oldest finish up the first half of her last year of highschool, i am very aware of how short our time with our kids really is….and i don’t know about you, but i want to finish well.

i want to stand before God knowing that i was a good steward of the time he gave me with my kids.

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