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pushing through…..

November 10, 2011


e started back up with school yesterday after being off for two weeks.  it was a rough day back, but we made it through.

if i had to define my days right now, i would definitely say i am pushing my way through.

i am simply getting up in the morning and literally going through the motions.

doing what has to be done and not even attemtping to do the things that can wait.

seriously, when my head hits the pillow, i can’t even remember what i did all day long.  it’s all a blur.

and yet, i know i made it through the day.  by the grace of God.

it’ll be two weeks tomorrow that my dad went home to be with Jesus.

i think it’s been the longest two weeks of my life.

when i think of heaven and being able to sit at the feet of Jesus and never having to say good bye again, i am filled with joy for my dad.  because i know he’s in a beautiful place.

and yet, this place here seems so empty and lonely without him.

i have to remind myself that God’s ways are not my ways  and that he knows whats best for each one of us.

he knew how tired my dad’s body was.  he saw the years of faithful service, and the long journey through Alzheimers.

and he was kind and gracious to bring him home.

this earth wasn’t my dad’s home.  he was simply passing through.

and along the way, he touched my life and the lives of so many others.

which is why he is so dearly missed.

i long to hold his hand one more time and kiss his forehead.

someday, we will have a great reunion and we’ll laugh and dance and never have to say good bye again.

but in the meantime, i am simply pushing through….

One Comment leave one →
  1. November 13, 2011 2:48 pm

    I really enjoyed your blog today. Due to the loss of my Mother in April of 2005 I try to stray away from reading about losing a parent. Even today, a little more than six years later I still grieve. I sometimes have to wonder, “Will the pain ever leave?” I find peace in knowing my Mom is no longer in the pain she was while here on earth, she no longer suffers. Although I do realize it is the selfish child in me I want just to be with her one more time, then I have to remind myself that for me it would not be enough, I would want more. So I continue living life, keeping my memories alive, I talk to her and as time has passed I feel her with me. I want my Mom to be without the pain she endured so I tell myself that I can deal without her physically being by my side. Her presence is here daily, I feel it, I sense it. I know she is at peace, without the pain she suffered daily. Because of this knowledge of this, just feeling her presence is enough for me to continue on. I do this to honor her as a woman, a Mother… friend. Thank you for sharing as you travel down this path in life, without your knowing I believe your words help many, they have helped me……………Lori Jeanne

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