experiencing his presence…..
friend asked me yesterday how i’m handling the loss of my dad.
i shared with her that once we were back home from our busy week of attending my dad’s funeral and spending time with my mom, that i feel as though i’ve left someone behind.
i feel this void, like someone has went away and i can’t find them.
and the loss is so heavy that i can’t shake it.
i’m “fine” one minute and crying the next.
i can smile at a child and in the next moment, just want to fall apart.
something is diefinitely missing. and i know that “something” is my dad.
even though i typically don’t see him more than every 5-6 weeks, i feel the loss daily….hourly.
and i know that this is normal. i kow that a part of me is missing.
i have loved this man for almost 41 years. i’ve known him and have been loved by him my entire life.
he has helped shape me into who i am today and he never, ever gave up on me. not once.
so it’s no wonder i’d miss him. it’s no surprise that his loss is felt so deeply.
but another thing that i shared with my friend is this:
i shared that even though i miss my dad and the hurt is unbearable at times, the One thing that i have been sure of is my Savior’s love.
i haven’t had the words to pray, and yet i have felt his sweet presence.
i haven’t been able to get in the Word for over a week now, and yet, i hear his Words comforting me and reminding me of his amazing love.
i have felt closer to him this past week than i have in a very long time.
i know his love in ways that i never thought possible and i am experiencing the peace which passes all understanding.
losing my dad still hurts. alot.
and quite frankly, it sucks to know that i can’t hold his hand until we meet again in heaven.
but i can honestly say, the Comforter has come.