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more than discipline…..

October 14, 2011


recently shared that since this crazy premenopausal depression has started, i have slacked quite a bit in other areas—mainly parenting.

i am seeing patterns of unpleasant behavior (a.k.a. disobedience) in my kids, and quite frankly, it can be both discouraging and overwhelming at the same time because it’s so constant.

i am working at regaining territory in this area, but progress has been slow for a couple of reasons.

for one thing, i am realizing that i can’t  expect my kids to just “snap back into shape” without giving them the time to do so.  after all, they’ve had months of inconsistent parenting AND they’re sinners.  nobody changes overnight.

not only that, they aren’t the only ones needing to change.  mommy needs some changing too.  i need to get my focus back onto my kids and be on top of things, such as unpleasant talk and disobedience and NOT let it slide.

heck, i need accountability so why would i expect any less from them?  they need mommy to show them their sin and point them to their Savior…every single day.

another reason i feel the progress has been slow is because i have been going about it all wrong.

i was sort-of listening to myself yesterday as i was talking to my little guy (almost 5), and i realized that throughout his day, he mainly hears “matthew stop.”  “matthew don’t do that.”  “matthew, obey mommy!”

and while heed needs to hear those things, he needs to hear encouragement even more.

he needs mommy to be telling him the “why” behind the “no” at times.  and he needs to hear what Jesus has to say about obedience and that it will go well with him when he obeys, not just what will happen if he doesn’t.

how can i expect him to want to obey when it all seems like rules and regualtions rather than a way to honor God?

my kids need what all of us need: GRACE.

i am so thankful that God got my attention and helped me to see this.

i shared on here a while back about a book i was reading called, Give them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick.  it’s an amazing book on learning how to shower our kids with grace while training them in righteousness at the same time.

when my depression started i sort-of got away from this book, but today i’m picking it back up.

i know it’s going to take time to learn how to be a better “grace giver”, but i’m learning from the One who is the Giver of all grace, so he’ll work it out in me, in his time.

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