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just thinking….

October 11, 2011

I

‘ve had so many thoughts just flitting around in my head that i honestly don’t know what to write.

and yet, i know that once i start writing, i will hopefully be able to make sense of it all. ( and hopefully you will too.  🙂  )

on saturday, greg and i met with one of our pastors just to share where i’m coming from and to receive encouragement and care from this godly man.

at the end of our meeting, the pastor asked me if i was encouraged at all and if there was anything in particular that stood out to me from our discussion.

i told him that it was so helpful to hear him say that it’s okay to have days where i am going to immerse myself in the Word and then walk away feeling nothing.  and that even though i am trying to read the Word and just can’t seem to “absorb” it on some days, that there’s nothing wrong with that.

i think i can easily feel guilty for this season i’m in.  i can easily wonder if i’m in sin because i am not able to glean from the Scriptures all that i want to glean.

or that maybe there’s something wrong in my spirit because some days i just don’t feel any better after spending time with the Lord.

my pastor was able to reassure me that all of those things are normal, especially in depression, and that i have no reason to feel guilty.

can i just tell you what a relief it was to hear that?

i’ve done a lot of thinking since then and have come to realize some really amazing things about God.

first of all, even when i don’t “feel”  the affects of his Word when i’m reading it, God can still use his Word to work in my heart and in my life.  even though i may feel as though i’m not absorbing his Word when i read it, God can allow it to penetrate my heart, even without me realizing it.

isn’t that amazing?

and not only that, but even when i can’t seem to find the words to pray, Jesus knows my heart and he is interceding on my behalf.

why did i never think of that before?

so, as i’ve said before, i would never have chosen to walk through this season, BUT, i can honestly say that i am more and more thankful everyday for the lessons and invaluable truths that i am learning along the way.

what lessons has God been teaching you lately?  feel free to share in the comments so that others can be encouraged as well!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. October 11, 2011 3:08 pm

    I have been where you are and felt the same way. I still have days that I will sit in a church service and not feel the spirit at all. I used to worry about it; but now I know that I will have those days and it is ok. I only treasure the good days more.
    Blessings to you!

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