doing the next thing….
‘ve struggled this week with feeling very overwhelmed.
on wednesday night i could almost feel the gloom(a.k.a.premenopausal depression) starting to settle in once again. what had been a somewhat decent day of school seemed to be ending in me coming under the cloud of gloom which is so often surrounding me these days.
i went to bed that way and woke up the next morning not even wanting to get out of bed.
thankfully, i have a wonderful husband who willingly prayed with me and reminded me of the truth that i so desperately needed to hear. he encouraged me to get up and have my time with the Lord, and pour my heart out to the One who knows my innermost being.
there are some days right now where even praying seems pointless because i can’t seem to muster up any feeling behind the words.
however, reminding myself that God created me and knows my innermost thoughts helps me to pour myself out to him, with or without the “feelings” behind the words.
i am realizing that God isn’t looking for the feelings in me, he’s looking at my heart.
he knows where i’m at right now and he knows that i am desperate for more of him.
he knows that even on those days when i’m just feeling empty and void of feeling, that in my heart, i love him and desire him more than the breath i breathe.
God doesn’t need me to put on a show for him or to pretend that everything’s okay.
he wants me to be real and to come before him, raw and empty so that he can fill me up.
it’s been a hard week for sure.
as i’ve looked around, i have seen my messy house, the disobedience of my kids, and the lack of structure that has been the “norm” lately, and i’ve just wanted to crawl under the blankets and hide from it all.
but the Lord is graciously showing me that i don’t need to hide.
i just need to do the next thing.
i remember hearing that quote from elisabeth elliot, and at the time it had no real meaning to me.
but now it totally does.
instead of trying to get everything back in order all at once, i believe that the Lord is showing me that i just need to do the next thing.
that may be disciplining a child or simply starting a load of laundry, but whatever it is, i need to just do it. one step at a time.
and as i do the next thing, i can be sure that God will give me the strength i need to accomplish what i need to do.
English Standard Version (ESV)
10For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
what a comfort it is knowing that God prepared ahead of time the works that he has for me to do.
and if he prepared them ahead of time, surely he will give me what i need to see them through.