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letting go…..

September 15, 2011

i read this quote this morning at heather’s blog, and it resonated with my heart…..

i found myself thinking of the many trials we walk through in our lives, and how so often our lives don’t go as we planned.  anyone with me?

i think that for me, often times, i can miss out on what God’s trying to teach me because i am so set on getting rid of the trial rather than on trying to learn from it.

as i think about my current trail with depression, i can definitely see where i’ve been so set on treating the depression and feeling better that i’ve kind of lost sight of the fact that God just might be using this season to teach me something very precious.

i’ve been thinking about 5 years ago when my sweet dad went into the nursing home due to the awful affects of alzheimers disease.  he was only 57.

that was such a dark time for me.  i pleaded with God to heal my dad’s mind and to make him whole again. i begged him to let me hear dad say, “i love you” just one more time.  i cried.  i yelled.  i hurt.

for. a. long. time.

i was angry with God.  and i didn’t understand what good could possibly come out of this ugly time.

but God knew.  and he didn’t let go of me.  not once.

i can now look back at that time and i can see the good.  i can see that i know the sovereignty of God in ways i never knew before.

and i trust him.  totally and completely.  without hesitation.

i can walk through this current trail with full confidence that he WILL see me through.

knowing that i WILL be stronger and happier than i was before this trial.

and i can be sure that God will be even sweeter to know than he is right now.

but i have to let go of the life that i had planned; otherwise, there won’t be room for the life that He has for me.

and i want that life.  the one that my creator, my savior, and my God has— just for me.

so i’m letting go.

and i’m trusting that his way is better, because i’ve been there before…….

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