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why would i trust him?

August 23, 2011

i

was reading in Ed Welch’s book Depression: A Stubborn Darkness this morning and one of his comments was on how depression can often reveal what’s in our hearts.

it can help us to see where we are in our faith–do we trust God enough to believe that he will carry us through OR do we shake our fist at God and wonder why a loving God allow our lives to be interrupted and tainted by depression?

welch went on to talk about the isrealites and how they complained and doubted God’s goodness as they walked through the wilderness, not being happy with the manna that he provided for them daily.

but there were others who walked through the “desert” and remained faithful to God-men like Abraham, Daniel, and Jospeph didn’t allow the circumstances of their lives to shake their faith in God.  rather, they allowed God to use those times to break them and mold them and make them more into his image.  even though it was painful, they had seen enough of God’s faithfulness towards them that they didn’t doubt him.

that’s where i want to be.  i don’t want to allow depression to shake my faith in God.

i want to allow God to use my “desert of depression” to purify me.  i want him to break down the areas in my heart that need to be broken, and i want him to make me more like him.

i want my kids to see that though mommy is sad at times and though she’s walking through some yucky stuff, that her love for God is growing, and that she’s becoming more like him.

i don’t like what i’m walking through–not at all.  it’s a major interruption to my life and i hate the way i feel on some days.

but, because i have tasted of God’s faithfulness and i have seen him walk me through the desert before, i am confident that he will carry me through this desert time as well.

and i am confident that i will be better because of it, because God’s Word promises that he who began a good work in me, will bring it to completion.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. August 23, 2011 2:03 pm

    I loved reading your thoughts today. I have my moments with sadness and have had struggles with health issues and children difficulties. I seriously don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have faith in Christ. I know that He alone can heal us. Amen, to all that you said.
    Blessings to you and keep on enjoying the momenst. I enjoy following your blog.

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