well, the nurse called today and informed me that i’m as close to perect as i can get because all of my bloodwork came back totally normal.
i wanted to tell her that i feel about as far from perfect as i can possibly get and that though i’m happy about my bloodwork not revealing anything serious, that i am back to square one.
i wanted to scream at her and tell her that i am struggling today to just hold things together. and that every time a couple of my kids start to argue, it’s like nails on a chalkboard to me.
i wanted to tell her that i don’t appreciate the doctor’s unwillingness to test my nutrient levels and my progesterone and for brushing off what i know to be true: i am in perimenopause and have been dealing with what’s called constant pms.
i didn’t tell her any of that though, and i don’t need to. God knows what i’m dealing with and he cares more than any doctor ever could.
and i believe with all of my heart that he is going to use this season to teach me many new things about him and his character.
he’s going to use this time as a reminder of my need for him and that apart from him, i can do nothing.
so, though the days may be long right now and even dark at times, i have faith that God will see me through. and that by the time i am on the other side of this season, i will be a bit more like him….
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