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Did you know it was me, Dad?

May 20, 2011

Dear Dad,

I came to see you last weekend, but I’m not sure if you knew i was there.

I was so happy to walk into your room and see that the nursing home staff had you fully clothed.  It’s so hard for me to walk in and see you in a tee shirt and diaper…the diaper has me left undone….everytime.

When we walked into your room, you were laying in bed awake, but you showed no signs of knowing who we were.

I know that “studies” would say that you’re not “in there”, but I don’t believe that, not for a second.

Until the day you take your last breath, I will not stop talking to you and holding your hand.

There are so many things i wish i had said to you when we were there, but it was hard to do with so many others around visiting with us as well.

I wanted to tell you that I am so thankful for you, for the legacy of prayer and faithfulness that you have left to us.

I am also thankful for your years of faithfulness to our family, especially Mom.  There was never a doubt in my mind that you loved her with everything that’s in you.

In my eyes, there was nothing you couldn’t do. 

You built houses and garages and fixed cars like it was nothing.  And you wouldn’t settle for less than perfect in anything you did.

You worked extra jobs so that you could afford to send Justin and I to a Christian school, because it was important to you that we know the Word of God.

One thing that i will always love and admire about you was your faithfulness to Grandma and Grandpa, your parents.

By the time I was in college, they were both in the same nursing home; Grandma with Alzheimers, and Grandpa because he just couldn’t care for himself anymore.

You made such an effort to take our family to visit them every other Sunday, without fail; even though they were an hours drive away.

You would sit with them and talk to them as though they were completely aware and understood everything you said.

You never gave up on them and you continued these rountine visits until the day they died; which ended up being only 3 weeks apart from each other.

It’s so hard living 3 hours away from you.  I’d love to come see you more often, even though it’s painful.

Dad, I am so thankful that you know Jesus, because that gives me so much hope for the future.  Knowing that we will be together in Heaven and that you will recieve full healing there, makes me anxiously await that day!

I love you, Dad, and I miss you so much it hurts.

But one thing is for sure, and that is the fact that i will never give up on you. 

I will never stop talking to you.

i will never stop kissing your forehead and holding your hand.

and most of all, i will never stop loving you……

even after you breathe your final breath.

i love you Dad.

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