Reflecting on Dad……
I unexpectedly came across an envelope of pictures the other night.
pictures of Dad.
I wan’t prepared for the overwheming feelings that I experienced as i went through the pictures.
The pictures were all taken in a weekend visit to my parents….only 2 months before Dad went into the nursing home.
There were some pictures of him holding Matthew (only 6 months old at the time) that just melted my heart. How thankful I am that Dad knew all of my babies before he became too sick to know them anymore.
Looking at those pictures, one would never have known that my dad was losing the ability to care for himself, and that my mom had to help him with his daily tasks.
One would have never known that Dad had been having outbursts of anger, unaware that he was even doing it, or why.
One would have never known that Dad couldn’t be left outside anymore because he might wander off and get lost…even though he’d lived in that home for almost 32 years.
No one would have believed that he was the same man who had built our neighbors house, and our shed and garage.
As he smiled for those pictures, he was holding his youngest grandson and was doing what he did best…..he was giving love.
He was holding that baby boy and had the biggest smile on his face as Matthew reached up to rub Papa’s beard. Dad loved when his grandbabies rubbed his beard.
Though it was hard to go through the pictures, it was also like a balm to my soul. because i had forgotten about the times when Dad had held Matthew.
it was right around the time that Matthew was born that Dad had started to get worse.
there were many visits to my parents in the months following Matthew’s birth, and each time, more of Dad was gone. the visits were painful. excruciating to say the least.
and yet God, in his kindness, made it possible for us to have some sweet memories of dad and his grandkids before it was too late.
i can’t believe that it’s been 4-1/2 years since Dad went into the nursing home. In the blur of those painful years, i had forgotten about those pictures.
but God hadn’t forgotten…….