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Resting in His plan…

February 21, 2011

Today is the first day of the HOMEmakers Challenge over at Joyful Mothering.

I had been thinking about this challenge a lot over the weekend and am excited for the challenge to make positive changes in my home that will not only help me, but will bless my family as well.

i’ve been praying about what changes God would have me to make, and feel that He has been faithfully filling my mind with ideas. 

Just today, as i was reading my daily email/post from (in) courage, the Lord used one of the posts to show me that THIS is where i need to start.  That if i don’t have THIS, any changes i may try to make will be for nothing.

So for today, this is what i wll share with you for Day One of the HOME makers challenge.  i pray it touches your heart as much as it has mine.

A Soul Healing

Posted: 19 Feb 2011 10:10 PM PST
My soul feels raw.
As if it had been drug down a carpeted hall at break-neck speed.
A dry,
prickly raw-ness
that hurts, hints, points, and practically begs to be noticed.

Oh, but I am too busy.

I have children to feed, to wash, to get ready for school, to keep in line, to encourage, to exhort, to teach, to mentor…

I have a husband to please, to help, to encourage, to exhort, to submit to….

I have a house to clean, laundry to wash and fold and put away, dishes to wash, groceries to buy, work to do, bills to pay…

And the raw-ness gets drier and itchier and more irritating.
Soon I feel a ticking time bomb waiting for the next thing to set me off.

A question repeated over and over,
a tapping on my leg,
an ill-timed temper tantrum,
the perfect whine,
ungrateful behavior,
any of a million tiny things that could change me
from mommy-the-sweet to mommy-the-monster.

Instead of taking the time to allow God to soothe the rawness, instead of hiding in the bathroom to pray, or singing a song of praise, I become the martyr.

“I don’t have time for me,” my flesh cries out.
“If they could just leave me alone for a second I could think,” I storm and pout.

My soul’s rawness is pointing. It is pointing to sin I don’t want to deal with. It is a gaping chasm that needs to be filled with Him. It is my soul’s hunger for the bread of life.

Yet my Bible lies untouched,
my mind leaves locked the Words of life tucked away in my heart,
my eyes look to what is not and should be rather than what my Savior has done for me.

Then He is there. His words echo, “Do you want to get well?”

Oh those words burn, but they also bring hope. If only I am willing to go through the proper treatment for my raw and painful heart, I could be healed.

The treatment is painful.
It involves pruning,
shedding of what was for what will be,
dying to myself in order to live for Him,
resting in His plan instead of my own.

Father God, I want to be healed. Soothe my painful soul. Help me to rest in You. I submit to Your treatment for my flesh. Help me to want to get well. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Now the question remains, do you want to get well?

By Angela Mackey, Rethinking My Thinking

4 Comments leave one →
  1. February 21, 2011 4:08 pm

    I am so thankful that this post blessed you. Taking the time to allow God to heal your soul, bless you, your husband, and your kids.

  2. February 21, 2011 7:51 pm

    That is so beautiful. This part was my favorite:

    “Oh those words burn, but they also bring hope. If only I am willing to go through the proper treatment for my raw and painful heart, I could be healed.”

    Do not forget, this weeks challenge was to write down a rough version for a schedule. 😉 The schedule actually helps bring peace to the home by regulating the days into a rhythm. 🙂 *Hugs* and thank you so much for joining in!
    Don’t forget to join us again on Friday. I’ll be asking for YOUR input. 🙂

    • February 22, 2011 7:28 am

      thank you so much for you comment…..i am actually working on my “rough” schedule and plan to post it either today or tomorrow. thank you for your encouragement and inspiration. you are such a blessing….
      in Christ alone,

  3. February 24, 2011 9:32 pm

    A beautifully written heartfelt post! May your prayers be answered and you feel the Father’s arms wrapping around you as your prepare your home. It’s nice to meet you from the HOMEmaker’s Challenge.

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