it’s a conspiracy…or is it?
i’ve been in a challenging season lately in my parenting. it seems as though my kids have all decided that it’s necessary to challenge mommy at every turn, and i do mean every turn.
there are times when i catch myself wondering if my precious kids get up during the night to plot and plan a conspiracy against mommy. and i even go so far as to imagine my “leaders” assigning responsibilites to each of the others, and reminding them exactly what to do to best push mommy’s buttons. 🙂
it’s on those “conspiracy” days that i am tempted towards frustration. i can often catch myself saying things like, “i can’t do this! I can not be the mommy to these kids that God wants me to be.”, or “what was God thinking, trusting ME to be the mommy of these precious kids? they deserve so much better.”
but what am i believing during those times? am i believing the Truth that God is sovereign over me and my kids, or am i believing that my ability to be a faithful, patient mommy relys solely on me and my abilities?
God has shown me time and time again that it’s usually not my kids who have gotten off track…it’s me.
it’s then that i realize that i have allowed myself to get into the habit of repeating myself rather than requiring my kids to obey…the first time.
i have chosen to let certain behaviors go unchecked because i either haven’t wanted the battle or i haven’t wanted to be bothered.
and what about those times when the challenges with particular kids are so constant that it’s been a struggle for me to even be around them?
i came across this beautiful post over at ann voskamp’s site, called 10 points of joyful parenting. this point in particular stood out to me,
Today, the moment when I am most repelled by a child’s behavior, that is my sign to draw the very closest to that child.
after all, isn’t that exactly what God does for me, for us? even when i’m at my lowest, full of ugly sin, He draws me close and reminds me of his love, his care.
he doesn’t give up on me, even when my behavior is selfish and unkind…no, instead, he shows me unconditional love, with no limits.
if my heavenly Father so willingly lavishes such kindness and affection on me, then how can i fail to trust him to give me what i need to selflessly love these precious children he has entrusted to me?