Faithful at 40…….
i turn 40 today. i know that you may be shaking your head and saying to yourself, “there’s NO WAY she can be 40!”, but trust me, i am! 🙂
i want 40 to be different. at this time next year i want look back at 40 with a smile and with a greater awareness of my Lord than i have right now.
i have shared here before that consistency has always been a struggle for me. and i used to think that i was only inconsistent in my parenting; however, i have come to realize that this is a pattern in other areas of my life as well.
and rather than working on becoming more consistent in those areas, i complain. i expect results without having to work for it.
God has been revealing these inconsistencies to me little by little over the past few months and has helped me to see my laziness for what it is: sin.
the main area i see this as sin is in my parenting. over the past few months, God has brought me across Scriptures and good books that have helped me to see that my inconsistency in my parenting can also be defined as me being unfaithful. God has given me these precious children and with them come a huge responsibility. He calls me to train them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord….not just when i feel like it, not just when it’s convenient, and NOT just when the kids are being cooperative….but all the time.
i know that we all go through seasons of being a little more slack in our parenting….the kids are doing well and we start letting little things slide, and then those little things become big things, until one day it hits us that we’ve gotten off track. that’s when we get back on track, have a little “boot camp” and all is well, right? my problem is, once i’ve realized that i’m off track, rather than getting back on track, i tend to let myself stay in the rut and just complain that my kids “just aren’t obeying me!”
but how can i expect them to obey me, when i’m not obeying God?
i’ve been listening to a series of messages on parenting lately, and each one has helped me to see that when i’m not faithfully training and disciplining my kids, i am sinning against God….i am disobeying His command to train my kids.
to be honest, until these past few months, i never saw my inconsistency as sin against God. i saw it as a bad habit that i just couldn’t kick. i am so thankful to God for opening my eyes to the Truth and for giving me conviction in this area. Does that mean i will always be consistent now that i see my inconsistency as sin? no. but it does mean that now that i am aware of this area where i so desperately need to grow, i am also aware of my desperate need of God’s help in this area.
i am also aware that God is for me in my parenting and that He will give me the grace i need each and every day to raise these kids. i just need to be willing to receive that grace and stop trying to change and grow in my own strength.
so, while 39 was sweet for me, with lots of fun memories, i want 40 to be even better.
i want 40 to be filled with me having a daily awareness of my need need for my sweet Savior….every second of every day.
i want 40 to be filled with the knowledge that when i fail (and believe me, i will!), my sweet Savior is right there to help me up and to remind me that “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ, for those who are called according to His purpose.”
i want 40 to be filled with joy….enjoying my kids and my wonderful husband and the sweet friends God has given to me.
more than anything else, i want to be faithful at 40……