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what’s the point?

September 27, 2010

it’s been one of those days when i feel like i should crawl back into bed and start over….in hopes that everything (and everyone) will be better when i wake up.

i started my day without my morning coffee, which was a bummer in and of itself.  i then hurried around to get ready because i had (key word here is had) big plans for today.  my wonderful husband encouraged me to give myself the freedom to take a few days off this week (from school) so that i can get the kid’s bedrooms and clothes in order.  i’ve been needing to get in their rooms and do the big clothing swap for the season, but with doing school, i just can’t find the time to get it done.  so i decided i would take his suggestion and do it today thru wednesday.

i should’ve known when i ran to meijer and had to wait about 15 minutes just to be served at the deli that things weren’t going to go smoothly today.  i ended up being gone longer than i planned and by the time i finally got the kids situated with something to play in the basement and i was set to work on the bedrooms, it was close to lunch time.

it started with an argument between the 2 oldest.  an argument that pride wouldn’t allow them to work through without my intervention.

then it was a little guy who didn’t want to be down there with them, he wanted to be with mommy.  and rather than try to entertain him, the others decided to let him cry. love the sound of crying, especially when i’m trying to focus on a job.

i get the little guy calmed down and loved on and make my way all the way back upstairs.  i hear the yelling first.  then the stomping feet up the stairs. yep, it’s child #2 and she’s had it with child #1 and she informs me that she’s NOT going back down there with her. that’s what she thinks.  i go all the way back down again and talk it through–again–and walk all the way back upstairs.

i then notice that an unnamed child decided to pour the whole toy box of toys on her sister’s bed rather than make neat piles as i had asked her to.  great.  at this point, i am totally overwhelmed and am wondering how much a ticket to Jamacia would cost AND how long it would take them to notice i was gone.  i’m sure it wouldn’t take long this morning.

after a discussion with my hubby, we agreed that i needed to let them clean their own room and take their own clothes out of the closets and replace them with the new clothes.  and, they need to be the ones to clean up the toys and decide which toys move to the basement and which ones stay in their room.  he graciously reminded me that i need to stop doing jobs that they’re capable of and to be willing to train them to do them themselves.  i’m so thankful for my practical, wise hubby who never ceases to remind me that i don’t have to do everything myself.

the thing that bugs me the most about this morning was the way i handled it…especially in my heart.  i was angry with the kids for not making my morning easier and i repeated myself numerous times rather than dealing with their disobedience when it came up.  i kept saying to myself and outloud at times, that this day stinks and that i’ll never get anything done and that i shouldn’t even bother to try and accomplish anything…basically, my attitude was, “what’s the point?”

it wasn’t until my sweet oldest came to me (and don’t think she didn’t contribute to the stress of the morning 🙂  ) and kindly suggested that maybe God was trying to teach me something today..that maybe he had a greater plan that what i had.  i used to hate it when she’d come to me and say such mature, profound things, because it made me feel small and inadequate hearing that from my child, but now i’m thankful for it.  thankful that even though she played a part in the day’s chaos, she was still sensitive to what the Lord was trying to do.  and she was willing to share it with me.

i see now how i could’ve handled each situation differently this morning.  i see how i could’ve used each situation as an opportunity to remind my kids of the gospel and of our constant need for our Savior. i can see that even though i mess up about a million times each day, God still loves me and he sees me as his precious child.  i’m so thankful for the gift of his amazing grace.

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