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loving them well……

May 18, 2010

i’ve been talking to my kids a lot lately about loving others and what that “looks like” for them.  it bears much repeating, and sometimes i wonder if they will ever “get it”.  but then, in one of those random moments, i am blown away by the generosity of one of them towards another and it melts my heart. 

 it has occurred to me lately that i honestly think my kids excel at this more than i do…..

i was reflecting on this last night after putting my 3 year back to bed for what seemed like the 100th time in an hour.  my heart was filled with frustration and in my mind i had been thinking,”why on earth doesn’t he just learn that it goes well with him when he obeys mommy?  and why can’t i have even 15 minutes of quiet?  all i want to do is sit down for 15 minutes and have NO ONE need anything from me.”

ever been there?

as i was sitting on the couch grumpily waiting for my sweet boy to get out of bed again, the Lord patiently and gently started speaking to my heart.

he reminded me of the many times that i don’t “get it” the first time around…or the 2nd, or 3rd…..he reminded me of my own desires to do what i want to do rather than what i know i need to be doing…just like my sweet boy.  the difference is, he’s 3 and i’m almost 40.

once again, the Lord is using one of my kids to make me aware of my own sinful heart.  he sweetly showed me last night that just as i have to redirect my kids to get them back on the right path, He has to redirect me to get me back on track.

i was very grateful to the Lord for opening my eyes to the Truth last night, but i was also humbled by the huge difference in the way the Lord redirects me  compared to the way i redirect my kids….

the Lord is always patient and gentle in his approach to me….i’m not even close to being patient and gentle at times.  as a matter of fact, most times i’d say i’m more so annoyed at them when they disobey…expecting them to be perfect and to get it the first time so that i don’t have to deal with the issue again. 

as i ponderd this last night, i came to realize that when i lovingly redirect my kids and show them the right way, i am loving them well.  i am showing them that i care about them enough to save them from their poor choices.

and when i apologize to them for my unkindness towards them, i am loving them well.  i am then showing them that mommy is a sinner too(as if they don’t already know that!) and that i mess up…A LOT!

i have to confess that sometimes i catch myself wondering why God trusts me to be mommy to these 5 precious kids…i often feel like a terrible mommy and that i’m ruining my kids.  that’s when the Lord sweetly reminds me that he made me to be the perfect mommy for my kids and they are the perfect kids for me.  he designed us for each other and he is using us to refine each other and to make us more like Him.

i’m so thankful for the love of my Savior and that he never gives up on me when i don’t get it the first time.  and i’m thankful that he has given me such forgiving kids who love me

 and who are quick to forgive me when i fail them.

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