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fill me, Lord….

February 22, 2010

as i was reviewing our “budget status” over the weekend, i was shocked to see the number of starbucks receipts that i had already accumulated for this month……i had way more than normal (normal for me, anyway).

as i pondered this, i was racking my brain trying to figure out why i had so many more.  i mean, could anyone ever have to much starbucks?  is there anything wrong with going to starbucks?  no, not at all…..unless i am going to starbucks for reasons that are not good for me……..

as i thought back to the previous weeks, i started recalling the many stressful days, the long hours that my sweet husband was putting in, thus keeping him away from us more, the many days, hours, & minutes that i spent training, correcting, and “reminding” my children.  quite frankly, it’s been a ROUGH month and i’ve had many days where i’ve just wanted to “throw in the towel” and give up.

But, the Lord, in his sweet loving way showed me this weekend that he is bigger than starbucks and he can fill me up in ways that starbucks never could. 

you see, he showed me the pattern i had been developing over the past few weeks….a pattern of depending on starbucks for fulfillment rather than going to the One who offers Living water, and who’s cup always satisfies, leaving me lacking no good thing.

i’m sad to say that rather than starbucks being just something that i enjoy as a “treat” occasionally, i had made it a source of comfort on those stressful days.  i had filled myself up with something that only satisfied temporaily, rather than going to the One who longs to satsify me with loving kindness, the One whose mercies are new every morning. 

God helped me to see that i wasn’t crying out to him in those stressful moments, and rather than speaking Truth to myself, i was seeking comfort in other things…such as starbucks.

John 4:14 says, “but whoever drinks of the water that i will give him will never be thirsty forever.  the water that i give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

i am so thankful that God loves me enough to discipline me, to show me when i’ve gotten off track and to gently lead me back to him, the only One Who truly satisfies.


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