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January 13, 2010

as i stepped on the scale the other day, i realized (w/much horror!) that i had gained back 4 pounds over the holidays.  after losing the 21 pounds, i had decided to “take a break” from weight watchers until after Christmas, that way i could fully (and w/o self-control) enjoy all the yummy goodies.  seems reasonable, right?  well, i had myself convinced that i wouldn’t gain any weight, because up to this point, i’ve NEVER gained weight, other than the recommended amount during my pregnancies.  then, after baby #2, i hung on to an extra 10 pounds after each baby….thus the reason i’ve been doing WW.  so, my thinking since starting WW was that i would do WW until i reach the weight i want to be at and then i could just stop WW and eat like i used to.  sounds logical to me.  or so i thought……..

it seems that now that i am approaching 40 (which i still consider young!!) my body is doing some serious changing…uugghhhh!  and now, the reality has hit me that weight watchers may in fact be something that i will have to do forever, if i want to stay at a healthy weight.   at first i was mad at this realization, but after giving it much thought, i have come to realize how GOOD weight watchers has been for me.  not only was i able to lose 21 pounds in 3 months, but i also learned the very valuable fruit of self-control, which has often been a struggle for me in many areas of my life.  by doing WW, i HAD TO think about everything i put into my mouth and i HAD TO be aware of my portion sizes.  i was often times amazed when i realized how content i was when i ate much less of something that i used to eat larger  portions of.

over Christmas, i would often tell greg that i was feeling “gross” after eating my meals, or after eating “one more goodie” (which was probably the 5th or th in that one sitting!  😦  ), and he reminded me that the “gross” feeling was probably from the fact that i was eating more than what my body had been used to (this the reason for the 4 pounds i gained!!).    i had been replacing the good foods that i had been eating with junk foods that left me feeling tired, and quite frankly, gross.

SO, this past Monday it started doing weight watchers again and have already lost 1 pound!!!  i also have to say that i feel so much better after each meal and when i have a snack…..not just because i know i’m working towards losing more weight, but because i’m taking care of myself and am eating the amount of food that my body needs and no more.  i am modeling self-control for my kids and they’ve  noticed.

some people can just eat healthy and can eat right w/o the help of a calorie counter from weight watchers, but for me, weight watchers was the tool that God used to show me that i can take care of myself and can honor him with my body.  he also helped me to see the truth in Philippians 4:13, “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.”  before starting WW, i always said that WW would be my last resort, partly because i didn’t think i could do it, but more so because i didn’t want to discipline myself to do it.  i tend to run from having to discipline myself …especially when it comes to something new.  so, not only am i happy that i’ve been able to lose some weight that i desperately need to lose, BUT i am even happier that God is growing me in self-control and is stretching me by helping me to welcome growth and change.  i’m so thankful that He knows what’s best for me….

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